Surabaya, December 24, 2011
[I’m writing this on Christmas Eve in Surabaya, Indonesia at around 9 PM. It shall be noted that I planned to spend my Christmas and New Year holiday in this city. But a greater plan has to be fulfilled. Would go back to Jakarta tomorrow morning. An uncle of mine passed away this morning. Who would have thought that the Christmas atmosphere could be tainted in such a way? So unexpectedly. I’m happy for him, though. It’s always good to be home on Christmas day.]
Behind every closed door, a mystery left unfold; a story, untold. You may clench your eyes shut, yet a whiff of hope could never be denied.
Let me clear each tear from your eye and maybe sing you a lullaby. Let my heartbeat be your guide to a cure inside.
That terrible moment when you feel like you would love to let go of your shadow to go the place where you want to be the most, to see someone you want to see the most. But then you choose to be invisible and hide behind the Christmas tree. Too scared to wait for every dream to come true; the desire to wait under the mistletoe, disregarded. Oh, start wishing again, Self. Be renewed. Live in hope. And get surprised.
P.S. To see you couldn’t be nearly as gratifying as otherwise. (Stop these nonsense. There’s nothing to lose.)
I know that it’s so hard to let go. Give yourself time to heal; take it slow. Let’s talk as the rainbow colored lights, make the tree glow.
[Should get back to sleep now. Before dashing to the airport, we would like to attend a morning Christmas service at a church nearby. Hope we can make it. I pray that all of us are having our merry little Christmas in our hearts. Sing a Christmas song. Hum its melody if you may. Been raining cats and dogs these few days in this city, get yourself warm. Pull up your blanket and get yourself drowned in the most beautiful dream your mind could ever form. Merry Christmas!]
I opened a prayer that by the Lord’s grace you would come my way and receive love that won’t go away. Celebrate this occasion with gifts of joy on his birthday, on this night. On this night, I’ll fill all your empty spaces inside. As the snow falls, I’ll make it alright. ’Cause this day is for sharing, and no one should be without one caring.
***
Jakarta, December 28, 2011
Few days ago was my ninetieth birthday.
Much thanks and love to everyone for the wishes. I had a blast. Ah, I missed my own countdown but what the hell. A special thank for Dinna Margaretha for the surprise. Hugs! Love for all, and all for love. (Heh?)
We had our family dinner at Platinum Grill that night. Desserts and the main menu itself. Wine, red and white. Everything was incredible. It’s always good to be home, surrounded by your loved ones, on a special day.
You’re not alone. The pain in your heart is strong. Let me hold you in my arms. Let me be your protector from harm.
2012 is approaching. I’m excited of what’s to come.
What’s something you wish you could do one more time?
Last summer holiday. Oh! And my first days in Karawaci.
What are your top three short-term goals?
Driving my own car in Lippo Karawaci. VIS. Playing my piano… again; like, regularly, if possible.
Do you feel younger or older than your actual age?
Younger.
What stands between you and what you want?
What I need.
What’s something you no longer do that you used to do frequently?
Writing songs.
How are you different now compared to who you were in high school?
I was a math-and-science and music aficionado. (An algebra enthusiast, even.) Now, there’s no space nor time for me to get immersed in any of the two.
What’s something about you that has never changed?
I’ve always been independent. The more you tell me what to do, the more I’ll persist to do what I want. Ha! …meh.
What’s one random and weird fact about you?
I hate Gossip Girls. (Though I have to admit that Chace Crawford is beyond gorgeous, OMG!)
What’s something that happened to you that made you stronger?
Entering Universitas Pelita Harapan’s faculty of law and everything that comes along.
How do you know when it’s time to move on?
When to move on is the only choice I have.
[2011's been bittersweet. Some dreams were unraveling. Yet there shall be no dismay within. Shall be cognizant of every possibility and every opportunity. Changes and challenges embraced alike. Without stint.]
…you’re not alone.
A. Desmonda
My deepest condolence for your uncle
Happy New Year! May this be a better year than last year!
PS: I would have to disagree with one of the answer above. You, Miss, has an extremely old soul. Your wisdom is definitely far beyond your years xD
Thank you so much. And happy new year, too!
P.S. Thank you for your kind words. Oh, well, I’m a child at heart. (:
My deepest condolences also.
But oh, how I love your writing – so exquisite. I hope the new year treats you well. x
Much thanks and love. Happy new year, too! Xx.
Really appreciate the way you think and write. And, Algebra. I like it, too. What does that say about a soul?